Abilene
You have ever taken a girl to "look" at the blue lights by the airport.
Meeting a celebrity" means standing in line at the Olive Garden next to the local weatherman.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a camper on the Winters Freeway.
"Vacation" means driving to Dallas.
You have seen the "Anson Lights" and they scared the hell out of you!
You think one of the major food groups is Taco Bueno.
You think that opening weekend for dove and deer seasons are national holidays.
You find 98 degrees "a little warm," and 60 degrees downright freezing.
You think the only seasons are hot, damn hot, and winter.
You know if another person is from out of town the second he or she walks in the door.
"Overachievers" go to A&M or UT. The rest must choose from Hardin-Simmons, ACU, McMurry, or Cisco Junior College.
You've had several friends move off and move back within a couple of months.
You have a friend that lives near a pumpjack.
The West Texas Fair and Rodeo is the major event for the whole year.
The town mascot is a B-1 Bomber.
Honeymoon means "San Antonio."
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Abilene.
Amarillo
Rainfall is measured in hundredths of inches.
An inch of rain causes streets to flood but it takes a foot of snow to close schools.
People are happy if a picnic gets rained out.
You've seen rain, sleet, snow and thunder all in the same storm.
You consider plutonium to be good thing.
You prefer to haul drinking water rather than drink tap water.
You tell people you live in the tan brick house with a tan roof and attached two-car garage, and then realize that describes every house within a 2-mile radius.
You can see a million stars at night from your patio.
You've never seen smog.
You know the soil temperature on any given day but can't recall what you had for breakfast.
You've had to pull over and remove tumbleweeds from the grill of your car.
You've canceled many golf games because of rain.
Vacation means a weekend trip to Santa Fe.
You can lose your purse and a total stranger will return it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Amarillo.
Texas
You see more Texan flags than American flags.
You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud.
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department.
You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents.
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine.
You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team".
You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.
Your Pastor wears boots.
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.